Took a shower by midnight. Had a few realizations about life, decisions, choices and more of the drama phase I am currently getting into. And suddenly it hit me, with the same point I also had read over twitter, you shouldn’t let negative thoughts eat you. With confidence, face life like you’re a rock able to withstand all hardships and that one shouldn’t dwell on the negatives or else you’d be wasting time. Although inevitable, you should always seek for the brighter side, a more positive note. These I should bear in mind, stick it to the heart and claim with conviction.
I Can’t Make You Love Me
By: Anonymous via Thought Catalog
I remember those days when I walked down the hall in hopes of catching a glimpse of your face. I was young and naïve back then, but I never lost hope. I hoped that one day you would like me the way that I liked you. I was only a freshman and you were a senior. Like every other freshmen – we all had that older crush during that first year in a place that was foreign to us. We experienced new things, new people, and new feelings.
I never lost hope that one day I would have my chance with you. I dreamt of us holding hands, kissing, and being a couple…a youngster’s dreams. You went away and I stayed. We talked over the years, but you never showed interest. I went through high school and college and had relationships along the way. But I always thought of you. I always kept that hope that someday I would be able to hug you, kiss you.
Years went by and we finally had our night of passion. You felt my love. You knew there was an instant connection between us. It wasn’t long until I said I loved you. I could not have been more honest about my feelings. The years that had gone by only made me want you more, and get to know you more. Now that I was there, in bed with you, I knew that all along it had been building up to something greater.
But the reality was that you could never love me back. You were still in love with someone else. You were only in love with the idea that I loved you so much. No one else had loved you the way I did, and you loved that, not me.
When we part ways, I hope you know that I really loved you, and probably always will. I ask myself everyday what it is that I love about you so much. I have the answer, but I still don’t understand why. Is this how my life will always be? I will always love you and suffer because of it.
I have no complaints about you. The time we spend together is magical. When you kiss me, hold my hand, and even cook for me – I feel alive. I feel love, but not the kind that I have for you. You only care about me – I know it. I only wish you were honest with me about it. When I asked you to your face that one day, I knew you lied to me. I could see it in your eyes.
As the end of our relationship comes closer, I find myself longing for you. I hope that I can have that last night with you. I just want to lay with you. I want to hold you in my arms, kiss you, and fall asleep on you. I want to have one last, beautiful memory with you.
Then I will wake up in the morning, pack my stuff, and leave. You will never see or hear from me again. You deserve to love someone. You deserve someone who you can love back. You deserve the best. I am sorry that I can’t be that person.
Spending that night with you was a decision I will never regret.
Funny as it may seem we’ve been friends more than a decade now. Wait, should I be even saying that. Known this woman of finesse and beauty since first grade and I had been attached ever since. I love you mare, you know me too well and that’s what I like about our friendship: healthy, flourishing, sweet and supportive. I like it that way.
I have the sweetest friends who happen to be clingy. Apparently taken by boys but remained to be sticking with me through thick and thin.
Photo collage by Hershey as per her birthday greeting on facebook.
After some lone time and prolly the hard-to-deal-with kind of phase for a bum, finally I am able to cope with the sea of emotions I had for so long. Every bit of the tiny haywire seems to be at its proper place and I cannot wait at how things are gonna go by the coming days. I know this post is kind of vague and you can’t ascertain what I must be trying to say but seriously, as much as I want to blab everything out and share it to the world, I’d rather keep it to myself at first. I am not being greedy of some sort. I seriously just don’t wanna jinx everything and mix up the probabilities of all these things not pushing through. And so blah blah blah. I am at ease and that’s what matter the most.
Waiting Game
I seriously need some Kleenex while typing this.
I had been utterly disgusted with having cough, colds, slight fever and some self-inflicted stress and pressures for sometime now. I am expected to be in bed couple of hours ago but after an hour of faking sleep, I grabbed my laptop and decided to take down whatever thoughts are up in my head.
I hadn’t felt this bad about myself for the longest time. But this is different. I am stuck in a rut that I definitely am unsure how I could ever get out from. No, this is not about being attached to someone or whatnots. This is something about myself and my eagerness to grow and take mature steps towards career growth.
I have never been such a bum this long. Jobless for five months after passing the most dreaded Board Exams is no joke. I convinced myself that I deserve the break and that three months was enough but getting through the fifth is not a good joke anymore. But I know the right time will come for me, it will. And by the time it comes, I sure would get a good hold of it. This sure will take a while but I know it would not be forever. I am a CPA and that is all that matters.
It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to, just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to know how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book.
Source: thegirlandherbooks
I’m a paradox. I want to be happy but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy yet ambitious. I don’t like myself but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care but I really do. I crave attention but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has.
First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What’s gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you’re gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little.
The Script “Six Degrees of Separation”
Every rose has its thorn just like every night has its dawn.
Every rose has its thorn just like every cowboy sing a sad sad song.
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March Belle.
